(08.15.12) Wednesday morning my husband woke me with some bad news that's affecting people around us. One family dealing with the sudden loss of a husband & father. Another family just beginning their battle against cancer. Life is too short to be taken for granted. It sounds so cliche. Too short to coast through, crossing your fingers in hopes that nothing like this happens to you. Why does it take life changing events to slap you across the face? I have been personally struggling in areas of my own life (I know we all do). I feel like I have let myself down by reverting to old thoughts, habits and ways. I've started to become discontent and insecure. I guess it all hit me at once this morning. I couldn't even lift my head from my pillow because I was overwhelmed with so many negative thoughts. Deep down I only wanted to stay in bed and cry all day. Like feeling sorry for myself might make it better somehow??? Wishful thinking.... I know where those feelings can lead me and that by no means is where I want to return to. I had to take some kind of action. Allowing depression and fears to consume me is NOT acceptable! I had to replace my feelings of fear with faith and prayer. I've worked hard not to be filled with bitterness and hatred. When people do you wrong or are causing harm to themselves and others, it's hard to not harbor those types of feelings and behaviors. For some reason I have let what is going on around me affect me in a negative way. I've become consumed with what I can't control or change! Instead of doing my part to make a difference in someones life I have bottled it all in and started taking steps backwards. NO MORE! Life happens Andrea! Yes, I often talk to myself!
Dear God, Today I choose to trust YOU to work out YOUR purpose in my life! I chose to get my rear out of bed. Say a few things that needed to be said! Cry a few tears that needed to fall and then made a conscious choice to remain positive. Read some uplifting words. Run the errands I had to take care of. Clean the house. Get my bible & journal out and GO TO WEDNESDAY NIGHT SERVICE. Shoot, people there must have thought something was wrong with me. Tears were flowing but my praise was not weakened. I know where my answers are to be found. It's in his timing! His perfect plan! I'M FAR FROM PERFECT! I am a constant work in progress. I fail~ I fall~ I bend
but I choose to strive for continued progress and not perfection.
One of the websites I really enjoy is
UNVEILED WIFE
This is what she shared that helped me:
Dear Lord,
I come before you right now with a humble heart. For so long I have bottled my emotions, I have stored my hurts on shelves, avoiding the pain instead of letting it go. I am done. I am done running and I am done pretending like it doesn't affect me. My heart is broken, it has endured a lot, but I trust that if I release it unto you, I will find healing. I believe that you desire the best for me and that you desire to see me well. So I let it go. I let go of the past hurts, the hurts from when I was young, the hurts from loved ones, and the hurts from my spouse. I lay them at your feet and ask that your restore me. Clean and purify my heart. Mend me O Lord. You are my refuge and my comfort. Help me not to resurface these or misuse them to manipulate. Take them from me altogether and make me new. Help me to truly forgive as you forgive. Consume every part of me, fill me with your peace and anoint me with joy in Jesus name AMEN!
I TOLD YOU..... good, huh? I also read the message from Jesus Calling, Enjoying Peace In His Presence a 365 day devotional for August 15th.
It's good stuff so I will share it with you too.
I AM THE GOD OF ALL TIME and all that is. Seek Me not only in morning quietness but consistently throughout the day. Do not let unexpected problems distract you from My Presence. Instead, talk with Me about everything and watch confidently to see what I will do. Adversity need not interrupt your communion with Me. When things go "wrong", you tent to react as if you're being punished. Instead of this negative response, try to view difficulties as blessings in disguise.
Make me your Refuge by pouring out your heart to Me, trusting in Me at all times.
Psalm 55:17; Psalm 32:6; Psalm 62:8
